Curious Design

by Constant Companion

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credits

released April 15, 2016

Constant Companion

Cassie Youngstrom // Vocals, guitar
James Keogh // Bass, backing vocals
Stephen Zimmer // Drums

All lyrics by Cassie Youngstrom; all music by Constant Companion

Recorded on December 7, 2015 and March 4th, 2016 at Converse Rubber Tracks in Brooklyn, NY
Engineered by Bryan Pugh (2015) and James Keogh (2016)
Assistant Engineer: Stephen Zimmer (2016)

Except:

"Patsy Cline"
Recorded on December 7, 2015 at Converse Rubber Tracks in Brooklyn, NY
Engineered by Bryan Pugh

Mixed by James Keogh

Mastered by Jesse Cannon at Cannon Found Soundation

Album art: L'Absinthe by Edgar Degas (public domain)

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Constant Companion New York, New York

Jangly transient punk

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Track Name: Patsy Cline
There is a bar on Avenue B
With a graffiti’d sign and a bust-in doorway
The kind of place where you don’t make friends
And eye contact is highly discouraged

I came to drown my sorrows
There ain’t no solace for me here
No just another sad sack Saturday night
With a scotch on the rocks, and Patsy Cline on the jukebox

She says I’m crazy
She says I’m out of my head
She says I’m falling to pieces
Can’t come to grips
With this life that I am living
If you can call it that

I go out walking after midnight
‘Cause there’s no money on my metrocard tonight
And I am all fucked up with nowhere to go
Pick up a new sensation to forget everything I know
Etherize my soul

I’m trying to become some semblance of
A functional human being
Til then I’ll bide my time and stall my life
As a functional alcoholic
Somebody please report me to the authorities
I’m criminally over my head
She’s under my skin
I’m out of my depth
She’s pulling me in
I got nothing left
Forgot how to swim
I wanna drown in her poison
Wallow in her sins

The sun is pulling the horizon down
I lift my head to spill my guts on your bathroom floor
I wanna go back home but I cannot muster movement
Whiskey comes in fifths but that ain’t no measure of a man
I don’t know when I’ll understand
Track Name: Curious Design
I am living my life in a spiraling pattern
Getting farther and farther away
From my center and circling the drain
But spirals are life-giving structures
You can find them all over nature
Their spindly spines dictating the lines
To all of our histories and futures

There emerges a curious design
From the heart of the chaos and keeps me alive
And I know that I will be fine
If I give it some time
‘Cause there’s no room for fear
I can’t be sure what I’m looking for
But I’m certain I will find it here

I am living my life in a torrent of madness
Some days I am blinded by sadness
And can’t see the point of continued existence
But I trust in the process of turbulence
Van Gogh could see it, he painted it
In a god that resides in a trick of the light,
In the chaos that makes us all human

There emerges a stroke of insight
From the depth of the darkness, a sliver of light
And I know that I will be fine,
If I give it some time
‘Cause there’s no room for fear
I can’t be sure what I’m looking for
But I’m certain I will find it here
There’s no room for fear
I can’t be sure what I’m living for
But I’m certain I will find it here

These days I find God in your prose
In the curve of your lips, in the slope of your nose
In the beauty of all that is lost
And then found
And then lost and then found again

‘Cause there’s no room for fear, here
Track Name: Hard Line (Straight and Narrow)
I was raised in the suburbs
But the city’s in my blood
Spilling onto the pavement
As panic fills my lungs

November brings the unforgiving season
The cold rips through my flannel and my denim
You told me that by now you’d have it figured out
But you were way off track, you gotta get back
To the hard line straight and narrow

You showed me what I’m worth, I guess I’m worthless
If I thought this night would have a higher purpose
I thought I saw my chance and so I took it
It got me way off track, I gotta get back
To the hard line straight and narrow

I was raised in the suburbs
But the city’s in my blood
I got a heart like a Mack truck
Tracking rubber through my guts

I never knew that I could feel this human
Never knew that I could cause this kind of damage
Maybe it was fated, guess we’ll never know
‘Cause we are way off track, we gotta get back
To the hard line straight and narrow

I get drunk and defiant
Screaming, “What if I’m in love?”
But your name’s on the tip of
Someone else’s tongue

It was a misunderstanding
It happens all the time
But it’s a taste we’ll be craving
For our entire lives

But I am not what you need
I’m not the answer to all your problems
You cannot fill the need
You’re not the answer to all my problems
I am not what you need
I’m not the answer to all your problems
You cannot fill the need
You’re not the answer
I’m not the answer

I was raised in the suburbs
But the city’s in my blood
I’m surrounded by people
But perpetually alone
Track Name: Cognitive Dissonance
I’ve been flailing frantically
To reach a terminal velocity
To make a peace between the worlds that are inside me
And the one I can’t control

And I walk through these streets
Sight unseen
And I go through the motions
Of soulless epiphanies

I am searching constantly
To find a personal philosophy
That encompasses all of my impulses
To reconcile these streaks

Of violence and love
Fear and lust
I am stuck on the fence
Common sense is no weapon against
All this cognitive dissonance

I made myself untouchable
By letting everybody have their fill
Now I am numb to the touch of an honest will
And I am always alone

I got nothing beyond
This chemical bliss
I am in love with the myth
That I carry like Sisyphus

Rolling it up that hill
I keep on rolling it up that hill

I want violence and love, fear and lust
I want radical thought and political dissidence
I need time to convalesce
I need a reason to breathe that is of greater consequence